Amid all the craziness of wedding planning, it’s easy to forget that, even though your wedding vendors might be receiving a big, fat check for their services, they also need to be tipped. You can’t just give them one of the extra unique wedding favors you ordered or a handshake and call it a day.

Martha Knows Money!

Our friend Martha Stewart of Martha Stewart Weddings (you may have heard of her) has a detailed accounting of whom should be tipped, how much and how to handle it. Editor that I am, I’m going to provide you with an abridged version of her presentation so you can 1) be reminded that wedding vendor tipping is a must to thank them for a job well done (assuming it is well done) and 2) have a general idea of whom and how much to tip.

Know Up Front!

Keep in mind that some vendors include the gratuity in their fees, so always check. Others will let you choose the amount based on the level of their service. Needless to say, those tips can add up to big money, depending on the size of your wedding. You might want to ask a friend or family member to handle the tipping records and calculations for you, but you should write a personal thank-you note to each vendor after the event—perhaps a glowing recommendation they can use to obtain future customers. Okay. Here we go:

Who: Officiants

How Much: Typically  $75 to $100, separate from any fee you might be charged for the officiant’s time

How: Many religious officiants won’t accept cash tips. To thank them for their services, make a donation to their house of worship or give a gift certificate to a nice restaurant. If your wedding is performed by  a civil employee (judge, clerk or other non-religious official,) skip the gratuity as they might be legally unable to accept. A thank-you note, however,  is appropriate.

Who: Catering Staff (includes catering or banquet manager, servers, bartenders, chefs and other essential workers)

How Much: Typically 15-20% of the catering bill for the banquet manager to share with the kitchen and serving staff. Another option is to offer a flat amount for each worker: $100-$200 for the catering/banquet manager, $50 each for chefs and bakers, $20-$30 each for servers and kitchen staff, divided into separate envelopes.

How: Pay the director of the catering company in advance or hand them to the banquet manager toward the end of the event.

Who: Musicians and DeeJays

How Much: If you book through an agency, musicians and vocalists should be tipped about $20-$25 each and deejays should get at least $25. See details in “How.”

How: Tipping customs vary depending on whether you hire an independent band or deejay or book through an agency. For independent bands that book their own gigs, tipping isn’t customary. If you book through an agency, either the gratuity will be included in the contract or they’ll suggest you give a little extra to each band member in cash. Hand out the tips in cash envelopes at the end of the night.

Who: Stylists and Make-Up Artists

How Much: Just like you would for a regular appointment–15-20%. Assistants (shampoo person, etc.) should get $3-$5 each.

How: Hand out tips in envelopes directly to the stylists or leave them at the salon’s front desk. Cash is fine, or charging tips on your card when you pay for all the services is appropriate as well. If a stylist comes to your home or wedding venue, tip as you would at the salon. NOTE: Hair stylists and make-up artists who own their own businesses are generally not tipped.

Who: Photographers, Videographers, Florists and Wedding Coordinators

How Much: For the above vendors who own their own businesses, tipping isn’t necessary. For photographers, videographers and florists who don’t own the business, tip $30-$50; wedding coordinators should be given $50-$100.  For extraordinary service from any of these vendors, owners or not, think about giving an additional 10% or a thank-you gift—a gift certificate, perhaps, or a print from your photographer showing the vendor in action at your wedding.

How: In envelopes after the wedding.

Who: Site Staff (coat checkers, powder-room attendants, parking valets)

How Much: Coat checkers/$1-$2 per guest, which they can share; Powder-room attendants/$ .50-$1 per guest, divided among them; Parking valets/$1-$1.50 per car.

How: Some time before the wedding, ask the site manager to instruct workers not to accept any gifts from guests. Pay the workers at the end of the evening–cash in envelopes.  For the parking valets,  give the envelope to the parking manager, who will divide the cash among the valets.

A

Who: Seamstresses, Delivery People and Drivers

How Much/How: Seamstresses don’t expect a cash tip, but a small thank-you gift (a photo of your in your gown?) is a lovely way to show your gratitude; $5 each to the people delivering the flowers when they make the delivery; 15-20% of the cost in cash (when it’s not included in the contract) to the limousine driver when you’re picked up;

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAThat’s it! Consider yourself tipped off!

As I was watching news stories about the big blizzard that made its way up the East coast this past weekend, I couldn’t help but think of the brides whose weddings dreams were dashed by the awful weather. No dashing through the snow for them, but long hours on the phone replanning the whole wedding.

So what’s the best course of action when Mother Nature dumps two feet of snow on your wedding day? Here’s the scoop…

1. LET YOUR GUESTS KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.  Of course, the out-of-town guests may already be in their hotels, watching the snow hammer the city. When you call to tell them, I’m sure they’ll understand. If your other guests live in the area or have a television, they’ll get a clue fairly quickly. Regardless, make a phone call to each and every guest.

2. BE GLAD YOU GOT WEDDING INSURANCE. What? You planned a wedding and didn’t think wedding insurance was necessary? Here’s an excerpt from an article that appeared on  www.wedding-planning.suite101.com:

There can be many valid reasons for a wedding to be canceled or postponed, such as:

• extreme weather or other disaster
• unexpected military deployment
• illness
• a death in the family

In the event of a cancellation or postponement, the loss from non-refundable deposits can be staggering. Wedding cancellation or postponement insurance protects deposits and can even cover non-recoverable expenses equal to the total expense of the wedding.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAMay this Wonderful Season Bring You Warmth, Peace and Love!

Ah…the much-anticipated, all-important first kiss as husband and wife.  Bringing smiles, oohs and ahhs and even tears to the eyes of family and friends, it’s the moment we wait for at the conclusion of the wedding ceremony.

But, according to Brides.com, it’s not all magic.  There’s a method to mastering the perfect “four-second” kiss.  Here are some tips to make sure you avoid any PDA pitfalls (that’s Public Displays of Affection, in case you didn’t know) because you’re not just smooching on the couch–your Mom is watching, for God’s sake!

Six Steps To The Perfect Wedding Kiss

Step 1
Smile at each other.  Whether they’re too nervous or miffed about some mishap, many brides and grooms forget this.

Step 2
Tenderly hold one another before the kiss begins—closer than a junior-high slow dance when you were kids, but farther apart than a junior-high slow dance today.

Step 3
Gaze into each other’s eyes.  Do not look away.  Even a glimpse out of the corner of your eye at Uncle Joe can change the dynamics of the kiss.

Step 4
Close your eyes, lean in and make contact.  Strive for the proper tongue balance that let’s people know you’re passionate but not pornographic.

Step 5
Find the right duration of the kiss–typically, four seconds–putting you somewhere between “The Impersonal Peck” and “The Long Slobber”.

Step 6
Slowly pull apart, smile and keep your eyes fixed on each other for a moment. Then turn toward the audience.

Now that you know the steps, I’m sure you won’t mind practicing until it’s perfect .

Keep the kiss going

After all of your hard work to make it perfect, don’t let that euphoric first-kiss feeling end with the wedding.  Celebrate it at the reception with some fabulous wedding accessories and unique wedding favors, such as XO soap favors, first kiss cake topper or personalized lip balm, that are kissed with your love.