There were several celebrity weddings this past weekend (Alicia Keys, rapper T.I.), but the wedding making big news was Chelsea Clinton’s marriage to Marc Mezvinsky, where a deeply moving poem entitled “The Life That I Have” by Leo Marks was read during the ceremony. I’m sure it will be included in thousands of wedding ceremonies to come. Here it is…

The life that I have
Is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours.

The love that I have
Of the life that I have
Is yours and yours and yours.

A sleep I shall have
A rest I shall have
Yet death will be but a pause
For the peace of my years
In the long green grass
Will be yours and yours and yours.

A

It’s a lovely, meaningful poem, and it’s just one of thousands of poems perfect for reading at a wedding ceremony. If you like the idea of including a poem in your ceremony and you want to be original, spend a little time online (start with the keywords “love poems” or “wedding poems”) to find a poem that resonates with both you and your groom-to-be.

I’m glad you took some time today
To spend a while with me
And let me share a sweet idea
With a lovely bride-to-be.

Arizona couple after wedding on Saturday, June 12, 2010, on Pensacola Beach, Fla. (Michael Spooneybarger / Associated Press)

It’s a given that there are many industries affected by the BP oil spill in the Gulf. Fisherman, shrimpers, oil workers and others are the first to come to mind when you think about those affected by the tragedy, but there are hundreds of other businesses–like wedding planners, florists, caterers, etc.–who are also caught in the ripple effect of this oil that is swirling out of control.

To Cancel or Not To Cancel, That Is The Question

It’s a tough time all around. For those in the wedding and event business, their livelihood is at stake. For the bride and groom, their dream of a romantic beach wedding along the Gulf coast is drifting out to sea. Many feel that moving their wedding to another beach is the only option. But, it doesn’t have to be.

How To Save The Day

Whether you got engaged on a Pensacola beach, you grew up in the area or always envisioned a beach wedding there, if the coast has special meaning, you may be inspired to forge ahead with your Gulfcoast gala. Although the beaches may be manageable right now, the uncertainty of waiting a few months can put you in some turbulent waters. But with these tips, you may be able to stay the course:

• Review your contract to see if you are legally bound to have the event or forfeit your deposit. Most contracts allow for natural disasters, but since this one is man made, you may still be liable for the deposit. However, some compassionate vendors are refunding the deposits hoping to submit a claim to the oil companies for reimbursement.
• Work with your wedding planner to identify alternate locations that are close to the beach that can accommodate you with a last minute change (within three days.)
• Take wedding photos on the beach and have the wedding elsewhere. It may be easier to find a place to take a few pictures of the couple than to set up 50 chairs, decorations, etc.
• Simplify your wedding plans and decor. If there are last minute changes to be made, you may have to move things quickly. With a less elaborate display, having the least amount of equipment will reduce the set-up time and allow maximum flexibility in determining the best location on the beach.
• Create a wedding alert for your guests to notify them of any last-minute changes via email, text, calling post, etc. with updates daily beginning a week prior to the wedding.
• As a different, useful wedding favor, provide guests with mini bottles of Gojo or other crud-cutting cleaners to remove oil from hands and feet just in case. (Some beaches already have “cleaning stations” with this type of product set up along the shore.)
• If your wedding is towards the end of the summer, you may be able to negotiate an extension of the cancellation deadline, which will give you a little time to wait and see what happens with the oil recovery.
• In lieu of wedding gifts, ask guests to donate funds to the oil recovery efforts as a thoughtful gesture.
• Be flexible…enough said.

Remember, haz-mat teams are cleaning the beach every day and people still go to the beach every day. They’re just a little more careful where they step these days.

I’m going to let you watch this dubious trend unfold for yourself while I visit the little girls’ room…

Okay. I’m back. There’s not a lot I can say about this twisted idea except eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww! Is this on your list of wedding accessories? Why would a woman want to walk around her wedding reception (or anyone else’s, for that matter) with a urine-soaked diaper just so she won’t miss a moment of her special day. It certainly would be a special day (i.e. something froze over) before I’d wrap myself in a diaper unless I was medically incontinent. Follow my logic…

The wedding is over and you’re in the honeymoon suite. Lovingly, passionately, slowly, the man of your dreams undresses you for the first time as your husband, carefully removing your wedding gown, followed by those sexy, white undergarments. What are the chances he’s had experience removing an adult diaper from a woman? What would you think if you were watching with delicious anticipation as your new husband got down to his skivvies, only to discover a diaper beneath his boxers? I don’t know about you, but I’d be laughing so hard I wouldn’t be able to find my cell phone to snap a few photos. Talk about killing the mood.

I trust all my readers have enough sense to select a wedding gown that doesn’t impair her ability to relieve herself. But forever more, at every wedding we attend, we’ll all wonder–does she or doesn’t she? Only her bladder knows for sure…

Just Don’t Tell Your Groom About This!

It might not be an efficient way to pick out ALL your wedding accessories, but if you want to hear how you really look in a potential wedding gown—aside from what your Mom, sisters or  friends may tell you—here’s all you need. Simply take a digital camera when you shop for and try on gowns. Take a full-length photo of yourself in each gown and upload the photos at GoTryItOn.com. Their tag line is “Honest Advice on Your Look Before You Go Out.”

Go Try It On is a community of people who give and get unbiased opinions on clothing choices—totally free.  It’s also a great way to get feedback on your wedding gown  from your friends who may live in another city or state (or country!) Of course, the site goes far beyond wedding gowns. Maybe you’ve got a big event to attend with your fiance, and you have to look your absolute best. Load up a couple of photos of your top two outfits and, based on the comments, find out which one makes you look hotter!

Ewwwwww! Your Butt Looks Like Two Pigs Fighting Under a Blanket!

Of course, they have some rules, so people don’t bash you for being a fashion flop. Here are just a few:

• Share everything. (Well, not literally. But share your looks and opinions!)
• Play fair. (You know what this means.)
• Don’t hit people. (Don’t be mean when you can be constructive instead!)
• Put things back where you found them. (Use subjectively.)
• Clean up your own mess. (Use subjectively.)
• Don’t take things that aren’t yours. (Don’t upload photos that don’t belong to you.)
• Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. (If you offer someone feedback, try to be helpful, and if you are not…try to do better next time.)

This is also a great place for self-made fashionistas out there who want to help those of us who are style-challenged.  Share your know-how with the world and help make it a more beautiful place—but be nice! The purpose of this site is to build self-confidence—not tear it down! Now let’s try on that gown!

There’s no point in making you wait until the last paragraph to reveal the fashion color trends for 2010 and 2011, so here they are on the left. You may have heard of Pantone, the company that created this palette. These are the hot colors for autumn, winter and spring 2010/2011. Personally, I love them!

Who Determines Color Trends?

Color trends come to us from several sources, including Pantone, whose Pantone Color Matching System (PMS) is largely a standardized color reproduction system. By standardizing the colors, different manufacturers in different locations can all refer to the Pantone system to make sure colors match without direct contact with one another. I found it interesting that, even though a number of groups like this predict their own color trends from year to year, they’re all remarkably similar in their choices.

Perhaps the most influential predictor of color trends is The Color Marketing Group (CMG),  an international association for color design professionals which identifies the direction of color and design trends and translates them into salable colors for manufactured products. Composed of nearly 1,000 members in 20 countries, CMG forecasts color trends from one to three years in advance for color-related services and products, including fashion and even wedding favor boxes.

More About the Colors…

“Oyster Gray” and “Rose Dust” are the two most neutral options for the season, with Oyster Gray as the classic neutral and Rose Dust, a kind of “new ivory,”  a breezy, romantic tone somewhere between light pink and beige.

The typically autumn colors are “Golden Glow,” a terrestrial, deepened shade of yellow; “Chocolate Truffle,” a rich brown with a whisper of plum; “Woodbine,” a solid supporting green and “Lipstick Red,” a vivid, dramatic crimson.

The brighter, more spring-like tones for the colder months include “Lagoon,” a turquoise sure to add a tropical touch to fall and winter; “Purple Orchid,” a fuschia-inspired hue; “Living Coral,”  orange kissed by pink; and “Endive,” a fresh and lively yellow-green.

As I was writing this, I imagined a couple of color palettes using these colors, and I think they’re simply smashing–imagine Rose Dust and Woodbine together; Golden Glow, Chocolate Truffle and Lagoon; Purple Orchid and Rose Dust; Oyster Gray and Chocolate Truffle; Lipstick Red and Endive.

All lovely hues to color your world—and your wedding!

Wedding Trend Alert: Bridesmaids are Doin’ It For Themselves!

Mismatched bridesmaids dresses are nothing new. Wedding pundits have been touting this trend for several years. The bride selects the dress designer and the fabric, and she lets her bridesmaids choose the style that works best for their bodies.

The 2010 twist? Brides are choosing the color and simply handing it over to their bridesmaids, who then have the freedom to find an off-the-rack dress from any designer, in whatever style makes them look fabulous.

A

Brides are discovering that this DIY bridesmaid thing takes a bit of the pressure off them. Meanwhile, bridesmaids are delighted to know they’ll not only look good the day of, but if they choose wisely, they’ll be able to wear the dress again. It’s a win-win! If you like this idea, go for it! A word to the wise–tell your bridesmaids how formal the dress should be to avoid one bridesmaid in a floor-length, beaded evening gown and another in a casual, short sundress.

Take No Chances!

Don’t wait until your wedding day to let your bridesmaids surprise you with their choices. Ask  your girls to let you have a look when they’ve found a dress (or two or three) that they like, so you can make sure each dress complements your color scheme and coordinates well with all the other dresses. They’re your friends, and they won’t disappoint you. In fact, they’ll be grateful for your confidence in them as well as the liberty to choose their perfect bridesmaid dress. At the same time, you’ll probably be so thrilled with their choices that you’ll kick your bridesmaids gifts up a notch!

Just for Fun!

I thought it would be fun to show you what you might wind up with if you let your bridesmaids surprise you with their frocks on the day of your wedding. Let’s say you want your attendants in bright red…

Did you know you can purchase one wedding favor from Favors in the City to see if you like it before you order dozens of them? This goes for bridal shower favors and baby shower favors, too!

Seeing—and Touching—Is Believing…

I don’t know about you, but I always like to see, touch and evaluate what I’m buying before I plunk down my money. Of course, that’s often virtually impossible when I buy online, which is a super way to get things that might not be readily available in brick-and-mortar stores in my area. For the most part, I like and keep what I get about 97% of the time. It’s the 3% that disappoint and need to be returned—a small hassle, wouldn’t you say? And you’re back to square one searching for the product you still want/need.

Usually, the disappointment is in quality. It looked so good on TV/my computer screen/in the newspaper or magazine ad. Up close and personal—not so much. And when it comes to something uniquely important, like, oh, I don’t know, let’s say wedding favors, I would want to make absolutely sure I’m 100% thrilled with everything about it before I give it to even one guest.

Sample an Example of Your Favorite Favor!

With their no minimums* policy, Favors in the City lets you purchase single samples of one or several favors so you can get the full effect of each favor and make sure it’s the one for that once-in-a-lifetime day you’re planning. When a company is confident of their product quality, sending you a sample shouldn’t be a problem. You’ll be charged the unit price of the product sample(s) plus shipping and handling. Once you place your final order, Favors in the City refunds your original shipping cost. Meanwhile, you can sit back and relax, knowing that, when your wedding favors will arrive, they’ll be exactly what you envisioned!

Just another favor to you from Favors in the City! Gotta love ‘em!

* Except on personalized items, edible favors or items sold in a set.

Amid all the craziness of wedding planning, it’s easy to forget that, even though your wedding vendors might be receiving a big, fat check for their services, they also need to be tipped. You can’t just give them one of the extra unique wedding favors you ordered or a handshake and call it a day.

Martha Knows Money!

Our friend Martha Stewart of Martha Stewart Weddings (you may have heard of her) has a detailed accounting of whom should be tipped, how much and how to handle it. Editor that I am, I’m going to provide you with an abridged version of her presentation so you can 1) be reminded that wedding vendor tipping is a must to thank them for a job well done (assuming it is well done) and 2) have a general idea of whom and how much to tip.

Know Up Front!

Keep in mind that some vendors include the gratuity in their fees, so always check. Others will let you choose the amount based on the level of their service. Needless to say, those tips can add up to big money, depending on the size of your wedding. You might want to ask a friend or family member to handle the tipping records and calculations for you, but you should write a personal thank-you note to each vendor after the event—perhaps a glowing recommendation they can use to obtain future customers. Okay. Here we go:

Who: Officiants

How Much: Typically  $75 to $100, separate from any fee you might be charged for the officiant’s time

How: Many religious officiants won’t accept cash tips. To thank them for their services, make a donation to their house of worship or give a gift certificate to a nice restaurant. If your wedding is performed by  a civil employee (judge, clerk or other non-religious official,) skip the gratuity as they might be legally unable to accept. A thank-you note, however,  is appropriate.

Who: Catering Staff (includes catering or banquet manager, servers, bartenders, chefs and other essential workers)

How Much: Typically 15-20% of the catering bill for the banquet manager to share with the kitchen and serving staff. Another option is to offer a flat amount for each worker: $100-$200 for the catering/banquet manager, $50 each for chefs and bakers, $20-$30 each for servers and kitchen staff, divided into separate envelopes.

How: Pay the director of the catering company in advance or hand them to the banquet manager toward the end of the event.

Who: Musicians and DeeJays

How Much: If you book through an agency, musicians and vocalists should be tipped about $20-$25 each and deejays should get at least $25. See details in “How.”

How: Tipping customs vary depending on whether you hire an independent band or deejay or book through an agency. For independent bands that book their own gigs, tipping isn’t customary. If you book through an agency, either the gratuity will be included in the contract or they’ll suggest you give a little extra to each band member in cash. Hand out the tips in cash envelopes at the end of the night.

Who: Stylists and Make-Up Artists

How Much: Just like you would for a regular appointment–15-20%. Assistants (shampoo person, etc.) should get $3-$5 each.

How: Hand out tips in envelopes directly to the stylists or leave them at the salon’s front desk. Cash is fine, or charging tips on your card when you pay for all the services is appropriate as well. If a stylist comes to your home or wedding venue, tip as you would at the salon. NOTE: Hair stylists and make-up artists who own their own businesses are generally not tipped.

Who: Photographers, Videographers, Florists and Wedding Coordinators

How Much: For the above vendors who own their own businesses, tipping isn’t necessary. For photographers, videographers and florists who don’t own the business, tip $30-$50; wedding coordinators should be given $50-$100.  For extraordinary service from any of these vendors, owners or not, think about giving an additional 10% or a thank-you gift—a gift certificate, perhaps, or a print from your photographer showing the vendor in action at your wedding.

How: In envelopes after the wedding.

Who: Site Staff (coat checkers, powder-room attendants, parking valets)

How Much: Coat checkers/$1-$2 per guest, which they can share; Powder-room attendants/$ .50-$1 per guest, divided among them; Parking valets/$1-$1.50 per car.

How: Some time before the wedding, ask the site manager to instruct workers not to accept any gifts from guests. Pay the workers at the end of the evening–cash in envelopes.  For the parking valets,  give the envelope to the parking manager, who will divide the cash among the valets.

A

Who: Seamstresses, Delivery People and Drivers

How Much/How: Seamstresses don’t expect a cash tip, but a small thank-you gift (a photo of your in your gown?) is a lovely way to show your gratitude; $5 each to the people delivering the flowers when they make the delivery; 15-20% of the cost in cash (when it’s not included in the contract) to the limousine driver when you’re picked up;

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAThat’s it! Consider yourself tipped off!

Catering expert, Cheryl Kahn-Bracco, director of  Catering for the Glazier Group (a Manhattan event management company,) gave some insight on what’s right now and what’s so five minutes ago in a recent post on MitzvahMarket.com. Cheryl has “extensive experience in hospitality” and oversees unique events for clients at Bridgewaters, Twenty Four Fifth in NYC and The Beach Resort in Key West, FL.

Let’s take a look at what’s cooking in the catering world this season!

RIGHT NOW: Fried Chicken  SO FIVE MINUTES AGO: Sliders

RIGHT NOW: Gluten-Free Foods  SO FIVE MINUTES AGO: Nut-Free Foods

RIGHT NOW: Organic, Sustainable Local Foods  SO FIVE MINUTES AGO: Processed, Frozen or Imported Food

RIGHT NOW: St~ Germain Cocktails  SO FIVE MINUTES AGO: Cosmopolitans

RIGHT NOW: Short Ribs  SO FIVE MINUTES AGO: Rack of Lamb

RIGHT NOW: Lounge Seating  SO FIVE MINUTES AGO: Assigned Seating

RIGHT NOW: Email RSVP  SO FIVE MINUTES AGO: Response Cards Sent Via Email

RIGHT NOW: Woopie Pies  SO FIVE MINUTES AGO: Chocolate Fountains

RIGHT NOW: Root Beer Floats  SO FIVE MINUTES AGO: Frozen Daiquiris

Okay. Let’s talk about the questions you have, which are probably the same things I wondered about.  We’ll start with a recipe for the St. Germain Cocktail. St~Germain is a liqueur made from hand-picked elderflower blossoms, and this recipe is from the St~Germain web site:

2 parts Champagne* or Dry White Wine** 1 ½ parts St-Germain 2 parts Sparkling Water or Club Soda
Method: Stir ingredients in a tall ice-filled Collins glass, mixing completely. Think of Paris circa 1947. Garnish with a lemon twist.Variation: Think of Sarte circa 1947. Be the lemon twist. * Or Sparkling Wine, Prosecco or Cava ** Preferably Sauvignon Blanc

My next question was about  “lounge seating.” Rental companies can drop off and pick up lounge-style set-ups to match your color scheme. These lounges create comfortable, intimate groupings throughout your reception venue, making your event sophisticated and laid-back at the same time. It’s a great look you’ll probably have to pay more for. Here are a few photos I got from Google that give you a pretty good idea of the concept:

A

A

A

A

A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A

A

A

A

A

A

A

S

A

S

S

S

A

A

Last one–whoopie pies (also called a gob, black-and-white, bob, or “BFO” for Big Fat Oreo.) A Whoopie Pie is a baked good made of two round mound-shaped pieces of chocolate cake with a sweet, creamy frosting sandwiched between them. Well, I’m on board. Here’s what they look like:

A

A

A

A

A

A

A

A

A

A

As always, use what works for you and leave the rest–although I don’t think many of us would leave those Whoopie Cakes behind.

For some couples, finding their wedding style can be a bit of a challenge. In the current issue of Bridal Guide magazine, Karen Bussen, an event planner and author of Simple Stunning Weddings, offers some good tips for working through your tastes and priorities to arrive at your ideal wedding style.  Karen works with engaged couples to smooth and speed up the process of nailing their wedding style, and I’m passing along a few of her suggestions:

A

A

Karen’s first questions to an engaged couple are about themselves: How did you meet? Where did you meet? What are your interests? Are you outdoorsy, foodies, high school sweethearts?

Next, she asks them to describe the mood they envision for their wedding, and she recommends thinking in adjectives: hot and spicy? vintage? elegant and understated? whimsical and funky? Try some out to see what clicks with both of you.
AAA
Write down your wedding priorities. Is it the food? the guest list? an eco-friendly event? the budget? Karen also says that if family members are contributing money and involved in the planning, you should play it safe and run everything by them to make sure their budget squares with your wedding plans.

After you’ve honed in on your wedding style and budget, Karen says, find your venue. Why? “This is your most important decision, because the venue will drive your choice of everything else, from the dress to the decor to the food.” As an example.: “Let’s say your mood will be earthy, but natural and elegant. You know you want something outdoors, with a certain number of people and you’ve agreed on a budget. So maybe, you’ll decide on a farm or a small inn.”
A
A
A

If you choose, say, a farm, everything follows from there—sourcing your food and flowers locally, using seasonal flowers or even fruits for centerpieces, etc. Instead of a classic jazz trio, you might prefer a bluegrass group or a zydeco band. And, she says, it doesn’t mean you have to go casual. You can go rustic, but elegant in your choice of centerpieces, etc. Even some garden wedding favors can add a touch of elegance to your tables.

A

A

For an urban chic mood, perhaps you’ll rent a modern art gallery, put in long tables, use a row of narrow, clear cylinders with a single flower in each for centerpieces and swanky cocktails. But if sustainability is also a priority, simply choose organic produce for the meal.

All this sounds like a simple, pain-free way to plan the wedding of your dreams—for both of you!
A
A
A
A